boo hoo?

when i’m not running, i think about the fact that i’m not running.  a sour twinge of guilt washes over me each time i think about it.

it’s a drizzly, cold december weekend in brooklyn.  while i would normally just up and go to the gym, i have no desire to go today–twinge.

i have to give myself a bit of a break though. i’m coming off of having been extremely ill–i passed out on the floor just two weeks ago!

i haven’t been completely inactive.  once i felt better last saturday, i pushed all of my courage into a pile, laced up, and went out for a run.  i ran with mild caution throughout. in the middle of the run, i felt a little pukey and had to stop for a few seconds to collect myself. surprisingly, i ended up running a sub 30 5k.  the following thursday, i went to my regular spin class at the gym and felt pretty good.  i gave it 80%.  not bad.

Screen Shot 2014-12-06 at 4.01.44 PM this afternoon, todd and i peered grimly out the windows of our apartment at the outside world getting rained upon.  for a hot moment, we thought about running outside in the rain, but after seeing that the cars down below had their windshield wipers on at their highest settings, we decided to nix the idea.

fine. no running today. twinge.

but you know…i have to remember that i didn’t run for 37 freaking years!  it took me no time to become a runner, mid-life. i guess taking two weeks off from running isn’t the end of the world.

in the meantime, the world has a billion other things to offer.

like books.

and nachos.

and quality time with my awesome dog.

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right?

when you’re sick

i’ve been propped up weekend at bernie’s-style by flu meds and gatorade since monday evening.  i fainted for the very first time in my life that night. i’d gotten up too quickly from the bed to get a glass of water in the kitchen, and apparently my fever broke at that that very same moment.  thankfully, todd woke up (from hearing the thud of my falling down) and picked me up off the floor right away and carried me back to bed.  i was a sweaty mess!  he made sure i was settled back to sleep after drinking plenty of water.  scary.

since then, i’ve lost a few pounds, several days of running, and my usual voracious appetite.  today, i’m feeling 75% back to health.  it’s an improvement, but not nearly where i need to be so that i can lace up and go running again.  and i’m bummed out about that!  like seriously bummed out, man.

one thing i’ve noticed this week is that i know my body’s rhythms more than i did before i started running.  on sunday, the day before i came down with the worst of my symptoms, i felt a slight soreness in my lower back while running through the park and thought, well…that’s weird.  in a way, i could feel my body boarding up in preparation for a hurricane.

the next morning, i took a running class with my coworkers in the village, and afterwards, i noticed that i couldn’t stand the taste of water.  i couldn’t even appreciate the delicious spread of goodies that my colleagues brought in for our friendsgiving feast.

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i mean, come on!  it killed me to not be able to chow down along with everyone.  my stomach straight-up wouldn’t have it.

after we wrapped up our meal, the soreness and the nausea hit me hard, so i packed up and headed home at a snail’s pace.  not my usual jam, since i’m a fast walker and tend to zoom around people as i pass them on the sidewalk.  i was practically in tears by the time i got home.

i’m not going to lie.  i’m jealous of everyone who did their turkey trot races today.  i’m bitter about not having been able to run or workout since monday.  i’m annoyed that i can’t drink up or eat the way that i want to.  HULK MAD!  HULK SMASH THINGS!  HULK LAY DOWN UNDER THE COVERS, EAT CRACKERS AND SIP WATER!

the good news is that next week is a new week.  i’ll be out and about and feeling 100% by then, but for now i languish in my own anguish.  such is the life of an enthusiastic runner, no?